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| UFO - The Series: The Mix
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Jim Hacker react when he and Sir
Humphrey Appleby were first told about SHADO?|
PM (petulantly): "Why wasn't I told about SHADO?"
Straker (sternly): "You didn't need to know" PM (testily): "But I did need to know - I was asked questions about it yesterday, by the French ambassador!" Bernard (hesitantly): "Apparently the fact that you needed to know was not known at the time of the now known need to know was known, therefore those that needed to advise and inform Sir Humphrey perhaps felt that the information that he needed as to whether to inform the highest authority of the known information was not yet known and therefore there was no authority for the authority to be informed because the need to know was not at that time known as needed." | 
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PM (pleased): "I told the French President the UFO threat is over thanks to SHADO, since no UFO can now get through Earth and Moon defenses."
Straker (amused): "You told him that?" PM (proudly): "It was a question whereto I could give a clear, simple, straightforward and honest answer." Humphrey: "Unfortunately although the answer was indeed clear, simple and straightforward there is some difficulty in justifiably assigning to it the 4th of the epiteths you applied to the statement in as much as the precise correlation between the information you communicated and the facts in so far as they could be determined and demonstrated as such as to cause epistemological problems of sufficient magnitude as to lay upon the logical and semantic resources of the English language a heavier burden as they could be expected to bear." PM (flabbergasted): "Huh???" Straker (smiling): "He means you got it wrong - we don't get them all." | 
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Straker: "But... we need the money!"
Henderson: "The budget won't allow it." Straker: "Can't someone fiddle the figures?" Humphrey: "Commander, please - you must mean periodically restructure the base from which the statistics have been derived without drawing public attention to the fact?" | 
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PM: "Humphrey, how are you doing, coordinating the Security Services without compromising SHADO security?"
Humphrey: "To put it simply: Certain informal discussions took place involving a full and frank exchange of views, out of which arose a series of proposals which on examination prove to indicate certain promising lines of inquiry which when persued led to the realisation that the alternative courses of action might in fact in certain circumstances be susceptible of discreet modification leading to a reappraisal of the original areas of difference and pointing the way to encouraging possibilities of compromise and cooperation which if bilaterally implemented with appropriate give and take on both sides might if the climate were right have a reasonable possibility at the end of the day of leading, rightly or wrongly, to a mutually satisfactory resolution." | 
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Straker (annoyed): "What did you say to Security??? I was interrogated for six hours!"
Bernard (apologetically): "Thinking back on what I said and what they said and what I said you said and what they may say I said you said or what they may have thought I said I thought you thought... well they may say I said I thought you said you thought... well I think I said you said you thought SHADO is above the law." | 
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Hacker: "That's right, Tony, Ed used to be in the Air Force, but he went back to private life and is now the director of this film studio."
Tony: "Let's go in and find that interviewer then." Hacker: "Hang on, I'll introduce the two of you first... Ed, meet Tony, a friend of mine. He's going into politics too." (laughs loudly) "Who knows, maybe one day he'll have my job..." | 
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